


Don't you dare

by Pomiar



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Humor, M/M, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 17:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8110561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomiar/pseuds/Pomiar
Summary: There is a dare going on and everybody is acting extremely suspicious





	

**Author's Note:**

> This all happens in a happier universe, where no one dies!

It had been a bad idea from the start! No, worse than that, the stupid dare had been doomed to failure before it was even conceived in the scrambled, soft mosh that was Rex's brain.

  
Anakin had pointed all that, back when he first noticed the devilish grin spreading on his Captain's face. And he would've gloated if the Clones had not dragged him alongside in the proverbial pit of the deepest Sith Hell that was one General Kenobi's idea of revenge.

  
Had it been worth it? Despite Anakin's moans and groans - being obligatory since it wasn't often that he, himself was the voice of sound reason - if asked, Anakin would've sworn in Yoda's gimmer stick that he would do it again. After all the face of his Master at the time had been priceless.

  
It had all started with the insignificant detail of Cody's crush on his General.

  
"It's not like he has much to choose from" Rex reasoned and all of his brothers around the table nodded sagely in agreement.

  
The cantina, they had gathered in, was cramped, the music - loud and jarring, the atmosphere - stifling. None of them cared - for the ale was the best damn one the lower levels of Coruscant could offer.

  
"Waking up and seeing someone with your own ugly muzzle of a face must be horrifying," Wolffe grinned and patted Cody consolingly on his back.

  
"So you must have problems every morning when you go to take a piss eh? " Fives shot back.

  
"Must've covered all the mirrors in his room!" Echo joined, taking a sip of his ale.

 

"Ah, that explains the screams of pure terror I hear every morning," Cody, himself, delivered the last blow.

  
"Forget your faces, the sense of humor you guys have is abysmal I cannot believe we are in any way related." Wolffe declared to his drink.

  
"No, I think that you are right, I can't imagine I would fall for myself." Anakin quipped "I am being serious here, I don't think me, myself and I would get along very well," he added, since no one around their table seemed inclined to believe him.

  
"We can stop lamenting my love life or the lack of it! It is hardly professional even if it was true!" Cody tried in vain to redirect the conversation towards a safer choice of topic, but unfortunately his comrades were like Brezk Hounds, that have just caught the scent of fresh blood.

  
"No, in a way, I can see it happening" Fives mused thoughtfully as if he was on his way to unveil the secret of the universe. "The General is certainly handsome enough. All that dashing around like a hero out of a holovid, if I happened to be into blokes I might have tried myself "

  
Here, his voice got lost amidst the guffaws of laughter from his companions.

  
"You wouldn't have neared General Kenobi even under the threat of that sabre of his." Echo was laughing so hard his drink was about to come out of his nose.

  
"Admit it Fives, you don't have the guts and besides, if your advances were deemed unwelcome, the General could probably string your balls from the bridge of the ship and finish his tea while doing it"

  
Anakin huffed, but he did not join in the good-natured bantering. He felt something bad was about to occur, as if the Force itself was trying to warn him. He should have known better and listened to his dormant prescience sense.

  
"I am sure that the General would be reasonable and simply decline, unable to return any amorous feelings towards me" Cody suddenly sobered the jovial atmosphere and silence loomed over the company.

  
The awfully cheerful melody, played in the Cantina, kept repeating over and over as if the blasted droids, performing it, had all malfunctioned at the exact same time.

  
The bells were getting more persistent in Anakin's head, but he could not resist and before he could think any better of it, the words had already left his mouth

  
"Well I do think your hero worship is adorable and I would hate to be the one to break _your hero worship bubble_ , but my Master would most likely not know how to react if you proposition him, resulting in an embarrassing stutter, muttering of half scrambled apologies and a shade of red that would make his legendary ginger roots look pathetic in comparison."

  
Admittedly, Anakin had managed to empty a glass or nine of Coruscant's cheapest concoction that could pass as a beer. And that was more than strictly necessary for the average humanoid to get themselves wasted.

  
So sharing that piece of information with his brothers-in-arms had seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do at the time.

  
"With respect General," Wolffe turned to the Jedi "but that is a stinkin pack of bantha shit," he deadpanned, making Anakin bristle.

  
" I assure you, my Master is as oblivious when it comes to relationships as a Reddolian monk. In fact," here, Anakin opted to prolong the pause for dramatic effect, leaning closer over the table to his awaiting audience " I have witnessed it for myself. You cannot honestly believe you are the only one to fall for the charms of my Master. And even though he flirts with almost everything that moves on two appendages at a time," Anakin raised his finger in warning as Fives tried to interrupt him, " The famed Negotiator looses his carefully constructed composure the moment someone confesses their undying love for him. "

  
"Yeah, and Slizards do sommersalts in the Coruscant's sky," Echo snorted. "In fact, I do not recollect ever seeing General Kenobi loose his _carefully constructed composure_ ," Echo turned to Cody to see if he had something to add, being directly under the command of the Jedi Master in question.

  
Cody shrugged helplessly. Silence reigned once again.

  
"Well,"Anakin drawled, once again being the first to speak and once again not minding what exactly comes out of his mouth." There was the Creatlin incident, back when I was just two years into my Padawanship"

  
All pair of eyes zeroed on him, suddenly everyone on the table looked much more alert than a few seconds ago as if someone had sounded a battle alarm.

  
Anakin squirmed nervously in his seat.

  
"Forget it I'd rather waltz with Count Dooku than share that incident with anyone!I will not betray my Master like that!"

  
"General, with all due respect," Rex seemed unimpressed, " what is it that he has over you?"

  
Anakin sighed miserably and kept his eyes firmly on the half empty glass he held securely in his good hand.

  
"It is bad, I won't tell you, but eleven years living with the man, he has seen some things, especially, those first years in the Temple," Anakin winced as if even mentioning it made a little part of his essence die in agony. "His ability to always have a holocam at these moments always impressed me as a youngling"

  
Most of Anakin's audience had stopped attempting to cover their snickers at this point.

  
"It is a mutual agreement," the Jedi kept trying to convince the table.

  
"So what you are trying to say," Breez pointed in the general direction of Anakin, "is that there are other situations, in which G'neral Kenobi would blush like an Alderaan Highmaiden?"

  
"I am not saying you are right, I won't deny you may be wrong," Anakin leaned back in his chair.

Fives snorted in his ale "Typical Jedi answer that, ...sir " he added, as his alcohol soaked brain registered what he had just said.

  
"Well then," the warning bells in Anakin's head, by this point, were performing a perfect rendition of Naboo's national anthem, "There is one we can find out, exactly how easy it is to get a reaction out of General Kenobi," Rex smiled widely.

  
"Listen..."

  
Oh, that was a bad idea.

  
\---

The rules of the _Dare_ were simple:

  
\- Do not let the General find out that he is the object of a very competitive dare.

  
\- No methods, that may compromise the General's health or mental state, are to be used. (That includes activating a spaceship's emergency protocol. We have established that it doesn't work on General Kenobi, but it almost caused General Windu an apoplexy. Breez was disqualified, following these events. )

  
\- No propositioning or any other romantic advances are allowed. (except for Captain Cody, for that bet - see Echo and Fives)

  
\- You can team up with up to, but no more than three other players.

  
\- Members of the High Jedi Council cannot team up against the rest. In fact, we most humbly ask that they refrain from any form of a collaborative work.

  
\- All that wish to participate in the Dare must invest a starting sum of at least 5 RC.

  
\- No one is to mention Creatlin or they will be disqualified.

  
\- Every participant has one try each, for additional tries - the appropriate sum should be payed.

  
The objective - Put General Kenobi in an embarrassing situation and get an appropriate reaction out of said victim .

  
Our reliable sources inform us that those include some of the following: _blushing, stuttering, lapse in attention, mumbling etc._

\---

Anakin had a plan.

  
It was simple really, all he had to do for now, was to wait. Most of the clones and other participants were, at this point, regarding him with thinly veiled suspicion.

  
And even though Anakin was not known for his patience, this time he was sure even Master Yoda would be proud of his progress (too bad the green troll was also competing, so Anakin could not share his small victory with the venerable Master).

  
And so, Anakin waited...

  
"Come on, Master..." Ahsoka drawled and the two robed Jedi, reading nearby, shook their heads in reprimand.

  
"Quiet Snipps! You are gonna get us kicked out" Anakin tried his best Stern Master glare on the young torgruta.

  
"Not the first, probably won't be the last time," Ahsoka snorted. One of the other Jedi started to tap methodically with one long, sharp claw.

  
Anakin seriously had to work on his glare.

  
"Surely I can help,"Ahsoka lowered her voice to an acceptable for the library level. " The prize at the end has doubled, Master! Half of the Temple are in by now. I know you are waiting it out as much as possible, if we team up, people would stop chasing you around and asking you to let them in on the plan.You would have no need to hide in the library anymore!"

  
"I am not hiding, Snipps!" Surely, even he could spend some quality time in the library."No one followed you though?"

  
"See! This is why you need my assistance, Master!"

  
"Admit it! You just don't know what to do, my young pupil,"Anakin jabbed a finger at his padawan.

  
"Don't be ridic..."

  
The doors to the library startled both of them.Heavy footsteps sounded dangerously close to their hiding place.

  
"80/20"

  
"Forget it, Snipps" Anakin's legs were cramping at this point.

  
"Knight Skywalker, get out from underneath that table right this instant! Same goes for you Padawan Tano!"

  
Jocasta Nu was probably the only Sentient being that could demand obedience, without raising her voice above the appropriate for the library level.

  
\---

"You did WHAT!!!"

  
"I let three greenscaled snappers in the General's room" Fives calmly replied in between bites.

  
"And..." Tink prompted.

"Nothing happened, no screaming, no storming out in the middle of the night. It's like he didn't even notice them!"

  
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Rex joined the group, sliding his portion next to Echo's half-empty one.

  
"You know something, don't you, Rex?" Fives asked.

  
"All I do know, is that the General has acquired some rather exotic pets since last night. All three of them were perched on his shoulders throughout the morning briefing," Rex cheerfully stabbed a Nutra root with his fork.

  
"Can a person drown in their own soup?" Fives was staring at his steaming bowl longingly.

  
"I bet they would be able to do tricks by the time we reach the nearest planet, where the General could set them free!" Rex ignored Fives desperate attempts to end his suffering.

  
"No more bets!!!" There was a hysterical note in Tink's voice.

\---

  
"Have you noticed any unusual behavior among the troops lately" Obi-Wan had asked offhandedly.

  
Mace had to act as tactfully as he could muster. All of his years upon years of rigorous training and working on the field, however could not help him in his current predicament.

  
Simply put, Mace Windu - Jedi Master, Member of the Jedi Council - was trapped.

  
Even now, his mind was working desperately to try and find an exit out of this situation. Every possible escape scenario was carefully examined and discarded afterwards.

  
Despite all of his efforts though, Mace Windu had, several minutes ago, come to the frightening conclusion - resistance was futile. No matter what he would choose, Mace Windu had walked right onto that proverbial proton mine.

  
"If you mean the accident with the emergency protocol?" Mace trailed, - pretending not to understand, what Kenobi meant, would've raised more suspicion.

  
"That one, I had forgotten, but yes that accident also fits the bill"

  
"Overexertion?! We have been running them down as of lately." That one was weak even to his own ears and Mace braced himself for impact.

  
"Well..."Kenobi actually seemed to consider his words! Gods, Mace might just manage to pull this off," maybe, but running down the halls, dressed in a rather old-fashioned ball gown and screaming at the top of your lungs, surely cannot be relaxing, at least poor Waxer did not seem to enjoy it."

  
"I'm afraid to ask for the details" Mace's voice was dry enough to melt the snows on Hoth. Padme had been hounding down on the troopers for days now. Apparently one of them had caved.

  
"I have to admit" Mace could hear, if not see, his companion smirk "it was a rather interesting elevator ride!"

  
"Please, spare me!"

  
And as if the merciful Force had heard Mace's desperate plea, whatever Kenobi was about to add was lost as someone rattled the bars of their cell. The door opened and a tray with something green and vaguely edible was dumped on the floor.

  
"Well, they certainly did not think this through" Obi-Wan remarked cheerfully, and to demonstrate he rankled the heavy chains, trapping him to the furthest wall from the door and the dinner tray. Mace eyed his own chains with distate.  
"We can just leave at any time, Kenobi!"

  
Luck was on their side, as their most gracious of hosts were primitive enough to not have any information about detaining Force sensitive Sentients.

  
"We were just having such good chat, honestly Mace, when was the last time you stopped by at my rooms, back at the Temple? Besides you know very well, we have to wait until the Trish'Khans settle down for the night."

  
Unfortunately Kenobi was right. Their mission files had specifically included the bolded sentence _"Do not stir trouble or disrupt the normal rhythm of the Trish'Khans life."_

  
As it seemed however, the normal treatment of unwelcomed trespassers included a ritual.

  
Said ritual consisted of being roasted alive, after spending some time inside a tiny cell and being fed with only some odd looking, possibly poisonous, herbs.

  
And this was how Mace ended up confined in a small cell with the only person in the whole kriffin Universe he had tried to avoid for more than several weeks now.

  
Mace would not be the one to spill the beans to Kenobi and ruin the dare, even if his own plan with the slug-filled bucket had failed.

  
"I fear you are avoiding me as of late, Mace! If something was going on behind my back, surely you would warn me?"

  
Mace knew his choices were limited and just as he was considering cutting his own tongue and the pros and cons of an artificial substitute, he noticed that the aliens were extinguishing the fires.  
Oh, blessed Lady of the Force! His torture was almost over!

  
\---

  
"Do you think we can get a Calamarian orchestra group to follow Master Kenobi around Temple grounds?"

\---

  
  
"This needs to stop, Master Gallia!" Adi tried to close the door under young Skywalker's nose, but it was too late - his foot was already blocking the mechanism.

  
The Master sighed and gestured for Anakin to follow her inside.

  
"Sour or bitter?" Surely there was some tea left, even though she needed to restock her supplies soon.

  
"Er... whatever you are having would be fine."

  
Wrong choice.

  
Adi smirked, young Skywalker maybe be full of promise, but he still had a long way ahead of him.

  
She found two mugs, that were relatively clean and joined her guest in her rooms.

  
"Well then, tell me, what do you have against my methods?"

  
Rotating the teapot was an ancient tradition of the Wren's clan - to help mix the herbs, brewing inside. They had shared their methods and stack of tea, back when Adi had helped them.

  
Sure, Jedi did not accept payment, or gifts, for their services, but knowledge? Nobody would've blamed her for not resisting.

  
The young Knight's suspicion grew as she poured the steaming, red liquid into the mugs.

  
The vile, sharp scent made Skywalker's eyes water.

  
"Your idea was rather brilliant, Master, but we were almost trapped on that piece of rock for the rest of our lifes, the whole team - myself included!"

  
"Well, Knight Skywalker, as one of the creators of the dare, surely you would have made that honorable sacrifice?" Her innocent tone did not fool the Knight, but it distracted him enough and he, reflexively, took a gulp of his mug.  
Poor soul. He did not even wait for it to cool down - a vital information to have for anyone attempting to consume Wrenulan tea.

  
The horror of its bitter taste while hot - described in the scrolls of the Wren's tribe, she had been given - was now reflected in Anakin's eyes, as he threw her a pleading gaze.

  
Adi shook her head and silently pushed the tray, filled with sweets, towards the Knight.

  
She had almost done it! She had almost won the dare.

  
It had been rather simple really. All Adi had done, was to _edit_ some of the data about Kenobi's upcoming mission.

  
"Nowhere did the rules state, that I could not, and believe me, Knight Skywalker, I read them extremely carefully!"

  
She and the rest of the Temple. By this point half of them probably knew the blasted thing by heart.

  
Skywalker could only nod, being too busy trying to stuff his mouth with the sweets, and remain polite about it.

  
"My Master accidentally proposed to one of their leaders!" Anakin finally managed to grouse. "Apparently the gestures for greeting and admitting your undying love are rather similar on Nars."

  
"Who would have thought?"

  
It had been too good of an opportunity to miss on.

  
"If my Master was not as talented in getting himself out of trouble as he is, we might've still been in that city, congratulating the newly weds!"

  
"Well, young Knight, surely you had a wedding gift in mind?"

  
Adi took her mug, and without even blinking emptied the whole thing.

  
There was a newfound respect in Skywalker's eyes.

\---

  
"I got it!"

  
"Garen it's a night cycle and I was looking forward to more than three standard hours of sleep for once! You better have a really good reason to cross half of the northern tower in your sleepwear!"

  
" Dijeran's hot fleas,Bant! I know a guy who can find them for us and at a reasonable price!"

  
\---

  
"If this is yet another emergency, that turns into a circus act, I warn you Anakin, my revenge will be swift and most unexpected!"

  
Cody winced sympathetically. His General had been in a sore mood from the moment the ship got off the ground, half a cycle ago. Commander Skywallker was right now, walking on the very thin ice, that was the General's patience.

  
"I am offended, Master! Seeing you moping around all the time doesn't do much uplifting for the soldiers spirit. Hence, I have tasked myself with the inhumanly difficult task to cheer my old Master!"

  
"So you pulled me from the briefing in an attempt to...cheer me up? Goodness and here I was under the illusion that an emergency actually meant...let me think, separatist attack? " Skywalker seemed unaffected by the General's sharp wit. A credit to his training as a Jedi Knight, Cody assumed.

  
"I even ordered poor Captain Cody to come, believing we might need his assistance" And while his Commander kept it going on, Skywalker evened his steps with Cody and threw him a dazzling smile.

  
He was putting distance between himself and General Kenobi. Which meant...

  
Oh, not again!

  
Cody prepared to bolt at the first given opportunity.

  
"And here I thought you would be happy to see your poor old Master!" Someone chuckled from behind.

  
The General stopped dead in his tracks. Cody swiftly turned, half on alert if immediate actions were needed.

  
The stranger was leaning casually against the wall, looming at a least a foot over Cody. A worn cloak thrown hastilly over his robes.

  
Standart Jedi robes.

  
"Qui-Gon?!"

  
"Master Jinn!" Skywalker went to clasp the hands of the man, the smug look never leaving his face.

  
"But through the Bond...! You were blocking me," General Kenobi had not moved an inch, his hands clenching and unclenching spasmodically. "I thought the mission..."

  
"... was preoccupying my every minute" Master Jinn finished. He clasped Anakin's shoulder one last time, and with a polite nod at Cody, joined Master Kenobi. "I was wrapping things up, when Anakin contacted me.Then it was just a matter of convincing the Council that boarding your ship will save them the credits for my travelling costs.I'm afraid you are stuck with me for some time."

  
That, however was not enough to break the General's stupor. Kenobi kept opening and closing his mouth, like he had just finished his oxygen supply, while deep in space.

  
"Surprise!" The man tried weakly.

  
For a moment nothing happened. Cody's general was standing still, as if he could not quite believe his eyes.Yet, something unspoken went between the two Jedi.

  
"Well then," General Kenobi finally declared,shaking himself from his stupor and - almost despite himself - grinned widely at the newcomer, "let's find a room for our unexpected guest."

  
As the two men walked off together, the shorter man rested his head briefly on Jedi Jinn's shoulder in an almost unnoticeable gesture of intimacy.

  
"Our reinforcements have arrived" Cody was startled out of his reverie by General Skywalker.

  
"Sir?"

  
"Our dare is almost over, Cody, if there is one person who can crack Obi-Wan, that would be Master Jinn."

  
\---

  
"You met Master Jinn?" Rex asked, something akin to awe in his voice.

  
"He is aboard the ship you can't miss him," Cody answered dryly and moved further down the lunch line.

  
"And? Does he really look and act as a space pirate?"

  
"No, he was ordinary... rather tall."

  
" That is all?! The man is a legend and absolute horror to his battalion. I heard he somehow avoids his captain and goes off on his own. Some missions he carries all by himself and then just comes back to pick up his team when he is done."

 

\---

  
In the end it was almost anticlimactic, when it did indeed happen. Everyone in the command room had been listed as participants in the dare, so all of them - being, by now, particularly attuned to Master Obi-Wan Kenobi's mannerism - noticed, when something startled the General and his sentence ended with a slight uncustomary squеаk.

  
There was no explosion, no smoke or wild menagerie of exotic alien creatures, just a set of dark, indigo eyes following each and every move General Kenobi did.

  
Obi-Wan Kenobi's unshakable reputation was about to crumble down in on itself.

  
Just like that, during the discussion of the ship's travel route, a blush spread from the Jedi's neck and kept steadily climbing right up to his hairline.

  
The crew's next clue that the General was not just suffering from a bad case of food poisoning, was his very unaccustomed stutter. Followed by a pause, not the _I'm pausing to stress the importance of my words_ kind of pause (usually applied towards everything that concerned General Skywalker), but a fulll-blown _I've lost the trail of my thoughts_ kind of silence. Some of the soldiers present began looking over their shoulders in attempt to find, what caused the odd behavior in their commander.  
General Kenobi coughed, his face, if possible, even redder than few minutes ago, and tried to carry on with his speech, as if nothing had happened. And for a while it seemed that it had been just a lapse of the General's attention. Surely, even a man like Kenobi could be prone to making mistakes.

  
But it happened again.

  
This time everyone, including Rex held their collective breath, in an attempt to not disrupt the thick silence.

  
Rex was worried - it seemed, that by this point all of the General's blood had gathered in his head - and wondered if it was just another Jedi trick that compensated for the lack of blood supply to his other vital organs.

  
It only got worse.

  
Soon after, Kenobi was talking almost unconprehensively fast, as if eager to just get out of the room.

  
Someone got a hold of a holocam and quietly set it on.

  
The rest just kept their eyes riveted on Obi-Wan and his attempt to finish his thought by waving his hands like a man possessed. His voice kept rising until it reached a rather impressive high pitch, none of the gathered had heard before.

  
Anakin Skywalker was shaking so badly in a vain attempt to conceal his mirth, Rex suspected his General would soon rupture something vital.

  
It was only by a swift intervention from Jedi Jinn, that had the meeting coming to an end, with Obi-Wan standing by and nodding his head vigorously at everything the other general was saying, looking all too uncomfortable in his own shoes.

  
\---

  
"I think someone won," Rex sounded almost relieved.

  
"What do you think happened?" Cody followed the rest, as they were leaving through the doors, "Dijeran's hot fleas? I heard rumors that two Jedi had acquired some."

  
"No," Rex snorted " I know that plan failed...I was there, it was...messy," he rubbed his hands together, as if to dispel a chill. Cody had the nagging suspicion most of them would be regular at the Mind Healers after all.

  
"That was most definitely General Jinn's doing," Tink declared, "I have spend months trying to interpret each and every one of his looks and today he has been wearing his _I am most pleased_ one." Rex's brother and by some cruel joke of fortune - said General's second in command - shook his head.

  
"You are correct, my most suspicious of friends. Master Jinn just won the dare,"Anakin Skywalker caught up with the clones and patted Tink consolingly on the back.

  
"Sir, with all due respect, isn't that cheating with General Jinn being..."

  
"It was never mentioned in the rules," the Jedi interrupted, "since Master Jinn was on a long-term mission in the Outer Rim and no one suspected that the dare would continue for so long, all I had to do was help Master Jinn...speed things up on his end and sneak him on our ship" Rex's General shrugged innocently and hurried down the corridor.

  
"What did you mean by cheating?" Cody could not resist and asked, eyes following the jedi down the corridor.

  
"I mean we should've included a clause in the rules, forbidding General Jinn to participate," Tink sighed. Of course he was certain that the moment his General would've sniffed the dare out, he would've certainly found a way to cheat or as he liked to call it - bend the rules a bit. "He has an unfair advantage over all of us!"

  
"You know," Tink prompted, "the bond! He shares a bond with General Kenobi."

  
"So does General Skywalker," Rex looked as confused, as Cody felt.

  
"No," Tink stopped walking and began waving his hands angrily at both of them,startling several other clones near by. "I don't know about General Kenobi, but with General Jinn you'll immediately notice the influence of their bond. I suspect that in some cases his Soulbond is the one thing preventing him from doing something completely insane."

  
"A Soulbond?" Cody was not sure he wanted an answer to his question. Something cold and heavy lodged itself in-between his ribs.

  
"It can form between two Force-sensitives, who wish to spend their lives together."

  
"Marriage?! You want to tell me that General Kenobi is a married man?" Rex seemed more amused than surprised by the news.

  
"Well, of course they are both very private people, but I can't believe you didn't even notice. General Jinn's whole battalion knows. We have been instructed, if our Commander is to go on one of his " _walks_ ", to immediately inform General Kenobi. Most of the time it works like a charm. Too bad the General got better at hiding his intents.We barely have enough time to prepare nowadays before we end in the middle of yet another shitstorm..."

  
\---

  
Cody said his goodbyes to the rest, but could not go back to his room, not yet. Tink had offered a game of Sabacc, but Cody just wished to be left on his own, so he had politely declined, much to Rex and Tink's chagrin.

  
He had known ever since he had fallen for his General. He had known that his infatuation would not amount to anything more.

  
Yet the unexpected confirmation that General Kenobi was in love and was being loved in return, had hurt.

  
Cody felt betrayed by the Universe and even knowing that was a stupid sentiment he couldn't let it go. It was all he had left, so he quietly tried to dispel his feelings for Jedi Kenobi, by attempting to transform them into indignation? Rage? He was not sure, all he knew was that anger was easier to deal with.

  
So Cody quietly fumed, letting his legs take him wherever. He fumed at the stars, he could see through the ships visors, for being just as bright as ever. He fumed at his creators for giving him the whole specter of emotion, some of them completely useless for a life spend fighting. He felt angry towards Jedi Jinn, for having the love, he, himself craved and being reckless despite it.

  
But mostly, he felt angry at himself. He had known it could never be, but he had, nevertheless indulged himself in fantasies of _what could have been._

  
By some cruel trick of the Universe - he had just named with some less than proper epithets - Cody ran straight at the two people on the whole ship, he could not face at the moment.

  
Or he would have ran into them, if he hadn't ducked and hid behind some supply crates. Superior clone genes - Cody never knew he would use his reflexes in such situation, he doubted his creators had put much thought into that as well; nevertheless he was extremely thankful to all of them and their bald aunts.

  
And as undignified as crouching behind boxes of _Crech's best protein bars - We deliver anywhere in the Galaxy!_ was, it was still higher up Cody's list than facing his Commander - that he had a massive unrequited crush on - right now, so he lowered himself, trying valiantly to blend in with the wall and prayed to all the Gods that no one would come looking for extra snack right about now.

  
At least If he was spotted, he hoped the Jedi would buy the unlikely story of his incurable obsession with protein bars.

  
People, obsessed with cheap food supplements, don't peak in-between the crates with said products to spy on their commanding officers. Cody added curiosity on the long list of complaints he had for his creators.

  
"... a warning next time," Obi-Wan was almost jabbing his finger at the taller man."That accident with the dress?! I had hopes you had forgotten all about it."

  
Cody stiffened, trying to breath as quietly as possible. He was not sure he wanted to know any more details.

  
"Alas I am merely a human. Some things are far beyond my control. My selective memory being one of them."

  
"Surely a visit to the Mindhealer might help?" Obi-Wan suggested far too innocently."It might even help you remember about a certain feast on Uma II."

  
"I was mistaken. I yield, " Qui-Gon Jinn chuckled, and raised his hands in mock surrender.

  
"Please, tell me, that whatever it is you all were up to, is finally over?" Obi-Wan suddenly deflated.

  
And for the first time since the beginning of the war, Cody saw his Commander crumble before his eyes, leaving in its wake a man - exhausted and vulnerable. Slightly too thin, slightly too pale, hunched in on himself, with stark, dark circles underneath dull eyes.

  
Peacemakers in time of war. When had he stopped regarding the Jedi as such?

  
And yet...

  
_Birds do not sing, when dragoins roar_. - Master Koon's cryptic at the time words, now rang true in Cody's mind.

  
Jedi Jinn took Obi-Wan's hands in his and gently kissed first the one than the other.

  
"I am sorry, Obi-Wan, there will be no next time" he vowed solemnly.

  
Obi-Wan snorted, but when Jedi Jinn's hands framed his face, he leaned into the touch.

  
"Oh, I knew something was wrong the moment Anakin voluntary stepped foot in the library and I will think of a suitable revenge for all.  
Cody gulped heavily, he was certainly not looking forward to it.

  
"I promise to make it up to you! A table for two at Lesh, once we go back on Coruscant!" Qui-Gon declared with unnecessary aplomb.

  
"And how are we going to afford dining at the most expensive restaurant on the planet?"

  
"Oh, I recently came into receiving some extra funds" Jedi Jin said innocently.

  
Obi-Wan laughed "besides that would be such a waste of resources,you'd think we are not in a state of war by the way some people choose to live and even if...!"

  
Qui-Gon Jinn kept dutifully nodding and humming from time to time, content to let his mate wag his finger at those, who spend recklessly or _those being unsophisticated enough to waste good wine, honestly Qui-Gon!_

  
Just like that he had managed to chase the storm clouds away.

  
Cody decided he had overstayed his welcome and considered crawling back to his friends with as much dignity as he could muster. He grabbed few protein bars as an afterthought, weirdly feeling a little lighter.

  
After all they had just declared a war to one of the smartest, most powerful Jedi Masters alive and the results were bound to be spectacular.

**Author's Note:**

> This all came out of me thinking it would be funny if Qui-Gon used his bond with Obi-Wan to basically sext him.... even though he doesn't, he just reminisce about Obi-Wan's most embarrassing moments from his early teenage years...yes, it is the secondhand embarrassment that wins the Dare.


End file.
